News!

The latest economic news on wire, there is sudden surge for certified pre-owned Jack asses [Donkeys] export to South Africa, says spokes person from DAI [Dobhi Association of India]. Wire news quotes that this surge was attributed to South African cricket team’s pathetic loss to Bangladesh on Saturday. A fleet of Donkeys trained during the recent Indian cricket team debacle are set to travel to the African country. DAI’s media manager also added that “the current batch knows exactly how to react on such occajon”. He also quoted that DAI sales figures have tripled this quarter, and he thanks the Indian cricket fans for this sales surge. We need to wait to see if South African fans react the same way as the Indian fans.

Some media reports speculated few problems in the export. BCCI’s spokes person - assistant to assistant’s deputy lift operator Partap Rana [of building B] has quoted that DAI has to seek permission from BCCI for such exports. He quotes “BCCI has played a great part in training these beasts of burden”. A well known insider of DAI leaked to the press via SMS that “BCCI wants 50% of what each donkey makes. We are watching this situation very closely.

Moving on, Australia trashed the “drunken monks” from England, it is time for the English captain to pick his favorite “injury” and vacation spot. His recent scores are so pathetic that even Sanjay manju will add them without a calculator. DAI sales team is now working hard to send some of their samples to UK. The sales VP quoted that one named “Kalyani Punch” will work for best for Fintoff, as he has been already been caught for too much “kalyani” in his system.

Good day.