The New PC Nightmare

Do you know that Microsoft recommends getting their software from Dell is the best method to obtain it legally? Oh yawn! Microsoft certifies legitimacy if you buy it from Dell. They give you a hologram embalmed nicely on a virtual golden button that reads “You are a believer“. Alright, all this to make Bill Gates and his cronies believe that we don’t use software illegally. Agreed, world is ruthless on piracy. As a musician myself, I am totally against piracy. But being a genuine user it comes with high price tag, it causes great agony.

Has one recently got a new Dell PC that is loaded with legal copy of windows XP Pro? When you start the brand new Dell PC for the first time, a rectangle dialogue box shows up with text boxes lined up like a freight train, it will read “please enter the product activation key”.

An activation key is a long cryptic message handpicked by experts from Nerdy tribes that live in the valleys of Mount Rainier near Washington State. This can contain alphabets from our planet, many letters and signs from Mars, Uranus and Pluto. Framing this key is part their tribal tradition. Microsoft says creating such activation keys will prevent software piracy. Let me assure you, if you tell me that this will prevent piracy, I take it as a bad joke. Who ever framed this activation key schema should be a sadist. A software pirate will never be hindered by this key. He/She has no bid deal in copying this by using a copier. Having paid for this, it is the legal users who suffer the most.

Most human beings find it very difficult to enter an activation key. And for Typo experts like me it is a mind boggling task. Halo! When you buy from Dell with Microsoft certification, why the hell I should again enter the key? Why can’t it be done automatically? Here goes the doubting Thomas, hey buddy “it is after all a key? Why can’t you enter it and be done with it”, oh Mr. Skeptic, it is easy to say than doing it., the agony multiplies more now, listen, I first look around not knowing where to find the key, I peruse the puny manual just to find it was printed using recycled material. Like a pregnant cat I walk around the empty cartons searching for something, I find some number xwrtyzxbchdjnnchsgdjshyurere , I type this with great care, NOP sorry, invalid number that was the bar code.

Ok, some where some how, I come to know where to find this key. The label that contains the sanctified hologram and the certification key is stuck somewhere in the left side right bottom of the pc. In other words Dell meticulously places the key label at “the PC’s ass”. We are forced to look under the pc to read this anaconda.

Frankly, when it comes to this activation key I feel the entire world goes ½ blind; at first instance I only saw a silvery shining rainbow like hologram. Dam, now the next task will be to search for a torch light, its battery and rest of its family members.

The one I found made my life more ridicules. The illumination I got was inferior to an “Agarbathi”. In order to get it going, I had to do some moments with it, four years of using this torch light I am now a qualified person who could taxi a Boeing 747 to its dock quite comfortably. Well, no result yet, very dull light to read this anaconda sized activation key. Finally! Bless the lord; bright light came up after some massive pats and spanks on its …SS.

The pc now stands [in an angle] like a car as though that needs a tire rotation, I quickly make note of the key[zxcv12f-jkilks10-sumbanai-kapathu] [Translation: one more dumb windows user, god help him], I go back and type it, wow! It goes through well, the system starts after initializing. I thought “ok” may be I over reacted.

I had ordered Ms Office professional edition, which is about $250 extra. I start MS-WORD, “ding” a dialogue box shows up asking for a key! , a dog from nowhere suddenly appeared on the screen; it barked and as though indicating something it stood there lifting its third leg. “Do you want help?”

Dam, did I not enter the key already, or may be, being the defending “Typo world Champion” I should have made some typo some where in the mid part of the anaconda. I could have missed some of the “plutonian” characters. God!, the whole nine yards once again and had one more “darshan” [clear view] of the holy hologram, I turned the light boy off, hence one more time the “747 Taxi dance and so on..

Why can’t the Experts at Microsoft come up with a better system? Why should we be teased in spite of paying for this? Didn’t I get the stuff legally from a Microsoft certified Dell.com?

Ps: You may find similar article covering this topic. After completing my story, I goggled around to find people views with similar views, Yes there are some articles out there and few resembles to my article, here is my disclaimer; it is purely coincidental to find another article in this regard.